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I WILL NEVER FORGET TO HATE: BY ROBBIE KAINE

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Raped and humilated. Photo: witbanknews.co.za

A month ago, on my way home from work  I met Kash on the train. seated by the window, I noticed him board the train. You see, it was raining that day and Kash was a little bit wet. His dark, long hair, was wet, it fell to his face obscuring most of his features but I could see his eyes. They were green, they were deep and they looked beautiful. He was tall, and well built, his shirt hugged his body perfectly, accentuating his well built frame. He was gorgeous, a slender hunk of a Man. He looked really  decent  and oh was he so handsome. And here I was, drooling over him already. A total stranger. Hahaha. I laughed playfully at myself. He stood at the entrance, shook his hair to let loose some of its wetness and then proceeded to wear it in a ponytail.

I couldn’t take my eyes off him, it seemed as if I was transfixed. He glanced around looking for where to seat and that’s when our eyes met. Without warning, my heart began to beat faster, “behave yourself” I muttered to my heart, but of course he didn’t pay any attention.
Kash made his way in and sat down beside me.
“Good evening” he said.
“Good evening” I managed to mutter.
“The one day I left my umbrella at home, it decides to rain” he said to himself.
Without thinking, I handed him my hanky. “Oh gee, thank you” he said and he proceeded to wipe his wet face dry.
“I’m Kash” he said.

His voice wasn’t deep and it wasn’t girly, it was in between, it was soft and I found myself drinking in the sound of his voice without even hearing what he was saying. Somehow we exchanged numbers and promised to keep in touch. Over the next few days I and Kash continued to meet. We met on the train from work, we met to have coffee on the corner of Peama street. We had long walks in the evenings on weekends and we talked a lot on the phone. We also went to the movies together. In fact,  We spent every free time we had together, my colleagues at work began to tease me because whenever he called, they said I turned pink, said I couldn’t stop smiling and that I had this glow in my eyes, that glow which only a person in love would have.
We became inseparable, just like two peas in a pod. He was such a gentleman, he treated me so well and for the first time in a long while, I had butterflies in my stomach,  I was happy and I was in love.
Kash had never kissed me he’d only  pecked me and that was the day he told me he loved me. I’d waited so long to hear him say that and when he did, i was over the moon with joy.
He had also never taken me home to his place and he’d never been to my place. We always met outside and I was wondering when he would finally take me home.
Then one night as we talked before bedtime which I had become accustomed to, Kash asked that I visit him at his place the next day. I’d never been to his place before neither, or had he been to mine, there was always a first. I accepted his invitation gladly. It was about time! We said our good byes and hung up. As I lay in bed thinking of what tomorrow held for me, a cold chill swept over me, a sense of foreboding if you will. I didn’t know what it was and seeing  as the window to my room was opened, I chucked it down to the chill of the nights air.
The day came. The clouds were dark and looked heavy with rain. I went about my business faster than usual because I wanted to leave the house before the cloud let loose its tears.
By the time I was all dressed and ready to leave, a drizzle had started, I grabbed my umbrella headed out, hailed a taxi and got in.
The taxi driver was a big burly man
“Where to ma’am?” he said in his raspy voice which made me wince a little. I gave him the address, 26. Pemberton street and he zoomed off. The drive to Kash’s place was short. I paid my fare and got down. It was still drizzling but this time there were streaks of lightening. Any moment now, the downpour  would begin. I quickly ran up the front stairs of Kash’s apartment and smartly rapped on the door.
Kash opened the door and welcomed me in. His home was neatly kept and it smelled nice too. I could hear the sound of soft music playing in the background, I could perceive the delicious aroma of roasted turkey. My heart was smiling for it, I knew that that would be the day Kash would ask me out.
Well, it all happened so fast, one moment we were on the couch sipping a glass of red wine and the next moment I was dizzy. I could barely focus on Kash. One moment he was smiling and the next moment his face was contorted with rage. I was sinking into the dark depths of oblivion and Kash’s image seemed far away. There was the loud clap of thunder and then it happened! A stinging slap from him rang in my ears, followed by  a punch to my face. I felt him lift me over his shoulder and  a few moments later he  flung me unceremoniously on his bed. A rain of slaps descended on my face and what I dreaded most began to happen. He ripped my shirt off me, the buttons flying helter skelter and then, he tore my panties off and roughly thrusted himself into me.
Even in the depth of my darkness I knew what was happening but was powerless to stop it. You see…… my Kash had drugged me and he was raping me. I’ll never knew why.
It was cold, it was freezing. It was dark, it was lonely.
That place called hate, it ate me up, it made me sick and I couldn’t let go. I had learned to hate and with good reason too.
My name is Bika and this is how I learned to hate.

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